Daily Ponderance

What do guys really want?

Im sure its a question women have asked for eons, and I know the men have always wondered the same with regard to women.

Well I may not have the answers you seek, but I may be able to give you some insight, if only from my perspective as a guy, some fo which may be construed as a generalisation by other guys.

Men are Predators its true no doubt harkening back to our cave man hunter/provider days we enjoy the chase, perhaps more so than the capture.. and that translates to our pursuit of women, far too often we chase them simply because they are there as opposed to us chasing them because we want them. This is also no doubt why some men cheat, fulfilling a baser instinct simply because the urge and opportunity was there, which with thought and hindsight they may otherwise not have done. This doesnt excuse such activities but does explain them somewhat.

Do Men only think about Sex? no, though we do think about it often, indeed it is true we are driven by our urges in this regard far more than we'd probably like, even the most "in control" us. this isn't necessarily a bad thing without this urge humanity would almost certainly have never grown populous enough to become the worlds dominant species... heck without it we'd likely have been as disinterested as Panda Bears and probably gone the way of the dodo. It can however get in the way as we are easy to arouse and grump and irrational when frustrated.

Is it true the way to a mans heart is through his stomach?.. well I thinks its fairly safe to say yes in this regard to most guys. We like a decent feed and if its home made it shows us you care, because you made the effort. However it should also be noted a fair few of us also enjoy cooking (and even know how to wash up) and enjoy others complimenting us on our own culinary skills and sharing a meal with the one we love.

Are all men afraid of commitment? no, thought the reason some are is typically because they are afraid that by tying themselves to one person they may miss other opportunities that they may consider better or more beneficial. It is a selfish and petty reason but nevertheless oftentimes the case. However that said unless actively tempted away or momentarily driven by doubts or what has been missed out on and losing sight of what matters briefly most men who do commit are loyal when happy.

Do all guys love sports and going out drinking with the guys? Simply put..no, just as many of us these days find the notion of watching the footie orgoing out every night tedious and dull.. indeed its true with the gender roles changing as much as they are these days plenty of guys would be just as happy curled up in front of the TV watching a DVD with the one they love. To say all men love to watch sports and go out all the time with guys is a bit too much of a stereotype.

Starting to see a pattern unravel? yup you got it men are as varied in what they want as women are, some of us like to be bad boys some of us dont, some of us like to talk and get deep and meaningful, some of us dont and think talking too much just confuses matters. Some of us like to argue, others will go to great lengths to avoid them. some of us are happy to stay at home and raise the kids while thier partners earn the money others like to be the chief bread winner. Indeed a lot of these differences can be tied to certasin generations and the beliefs that were held when people of certain ages were growing up.. but a lot of roles are changing these days, the gender roles are shifting dramatically.

For the more modern men the best way to determine what they want is to look at women women used to want, as many of them are now filling a role that women used to and so are livign lives where needs and wants are driven by similar concerns.

Easiest way to find out what a man wants is the one most often overlooked.. ask him.

Key to all successful relationships is now, and will always remain good communication skills. The vast majority of problems and arguments arise from false assumptions about what the other wants or expects...take the time to find out, ask the questions and be happier for doing so.

I want to talk a little about Physical Size, Weight, and differences of all sorts if you will and how they are perceived in society, and how we judge others based purely on appearance all the time and not necessarily for the best.

Indeed I doubt anyone would refute the claim that society in general and the media in a large way has affected our opinions with regards to people of size, big or small, or indeed almost any form of physcial difference. With regard to size at the moment small is very much En vogue, but it wasn't always so and in some places in the world even today people of size are respected greatly.

I wonder how many of the people reading this have judged someone based on size, big or small, or judged based on some other phsycial imperfection be it a club foot, a speech impediment, birth mark, scar, freckles, skin tone, disability or a plethora of other "differences" even down to things as silly as the clothes on thier backs (does a label really have any bearing on whether you are a good person or not, to some apparently it does).

Indeed it has always mystified me that society has generation after generation taught its offspring and filled thier heads with bigoted comments or illconcieved notions, flooded thier head with images of skinny sickly looking people and telling them that this is what they should aspire too, or ostracising people based on disability, skin tone, clothing, or other differences..

As a species we have the most horrendous opinions of our fellow humans based purely on how they look. We judge without realising it based on appearance all the time, and for us to grow as a species we need to learn to accept difference not separate it, ridicule it, and treat it like some illness that needs to be cut away from the whole in order to make it better.

I put it to you readers, the next time you see someone very large, very small, or so called "odd" looking, before you turn away or point and stare, stop for a moment to say hello to that person, strike up a conversation see them for the fellow human being they are and treat them just so, and you may be surprised to learn the simple truth of the matter....they are people too just like you and me.

Something also to bare in mind for every assumption you make of someone else based on appearance...chances are several people are also making assumptions regarding you too.

In this day and age their really is no excuse for such ignorance, let us not go backward as a species but instead put away old notions that only serve to prevent our growth and move forward as a people. For all the differences we would point out their is no changing the fact we are all one species "human beings", time to acknowledge that "sameness", and accept that for as much as we are all one kind, we are all also individuals and our uniqueness whatever its origin is.. OKAY.

Peace.